You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
