dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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