North Korea, Best Korea!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ugly people sure do ruin things
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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