around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
