i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
