I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
