It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She even gives head with a lisp.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
