His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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