He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
