Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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