Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
