well you can't waste a boner
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
