I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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