P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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