): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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