we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
