Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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