A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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