real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
