Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
