He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sober January is a disaster.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
