Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
