At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
