Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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