dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you had me at cake vodka
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize