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I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Randomize
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