Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too