Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem

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  (570): Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem http://tfl.nu/c9xv
  Replies (14) Good night (978) Bad night (2778)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.

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  (508): Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend. http://tfl.nu/c0jn
  Replies (55) Good night (4322) Bad night (1003)
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  (661): View more from California

  Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"

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  (661): Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std" http://tfl.nu/vth3
  Replies (29) Good night (3234) Bad night (1347)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

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  (440): woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl. http://tfl.nu/ta0b
  Replies (82) Good night (1193) Bad night (4890)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents

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  (904): i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents http://tfl.nu/zd1e
  Replies (60) Good night (1683) Bad night (4824)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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  (412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am
  Replies (45) Good night (1521) Bad night (7017)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.

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  (208): You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip. http://tfl.nu/pvxn
  Replies (7) Good night (2146) Bad night (979)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.

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  (304): You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls. http://tfl.nu/z9o6
  Replies (34) Good night (2150) Bad night (828)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years

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  (717): Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years http://tfl.nu/kz81
  Replies (24) Good night (1197) Bad night (1085)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

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  (319): Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. http://tfl.nu/bbcz
  Replies (11) Good night (1552) Bad night (665)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.

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  (832): Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test. http://tfl.nu/gs8m
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (1518)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse

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  (301): "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse http://tfl.nu/r0b8
  Replies (9) Good night (846) Bad night (788)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.

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  (479): The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel. http://tfl.nu/uzc1
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (365)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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  (317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj
  Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (560)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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  (403): I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room http://tfl.nu/v5e3
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (634)

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