Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

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(434): View more from Virginia

I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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(206): View more from Washington

I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.

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(269): View more from Michigan

i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?

(740): View more from Ohio

bitches.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

(1-440): View more from Ohio

please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

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(505): View more from New Mexico

the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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(602): View more from Arizona

The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

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(317): View more from Indiana

Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?

(765): View more from Indiana

It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth

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