We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
