i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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