I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
MIDGETS
????
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
