But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
