Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
