Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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