Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
