based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
wow bdsm is so cute
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