Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
