You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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