just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
