did you get engaged???
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
