I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
