David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
