Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Randomize
