I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
