evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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