Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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