So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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