UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
