please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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