the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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