Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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