as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
