do herpes really smell.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
