there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
