my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Your tits are I can't wait for
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
