He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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