Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
