i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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