don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
40s are totally the cure
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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