he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
