just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
