I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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