i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
