You work out of a Hotel?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
