did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
