I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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