I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
