College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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