We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
