The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
